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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Building Rapport With NLP

Ever met someone with whom you hit it off with straight away? Someone who seemed to have exactly the same views as you and mirrored the excitement that you felt at having met someone so similar? If so then you know what real rapport feels like.

Imagine being able to touch people on a level that they have never been touched before. Imagine being able to walk into a room and have the people in there instantly like you.

Using NLP you can deliberately create the feeling of rapport with anyone you want.

First of all lets look at how rapport is created in the first place.

Rapport is essentially an act of communication and communication is more than just verbal. Communication means body language, tonality and facial expressions. Ever had someone tell you what a great idea that was and you not believe them? The chances are that some part of their communication voice, body language or facial expression did not back up this statement which set of your internal alarm bells.

So what you need to do is convince the person you want to create rapport with that the two of you are very similar. Most NLP practitioner courses will teach you to mirror that persons body language but quite frankly unless you are very practised this lack subtlety and can actually annoy the person you are doing it to thus creating the exact opposite result that you wanted.

In fact you need to also mirror such things as breathing rate and speaking patterns if you want to develop a deep level rapport. Studies have shown that people who are in love tend to breathe and speak at the same speed thus helping to create that feeling of having met someone special who understands you on a level that few have before.

There are of course even more advanced techniques which, if used wrongly can assist in the development of stalkers but you will not find these techniques written down or talked about and few people will teach you them. There are also techniques for destroying rapport and getting rid of people but yet again these are considered by many in the community to be dark and are therefore rarely talked about or taught. The fact is that few people can teach these techniques effectively as an extremely deep level of understanding about NLP is needed.

Individuals who are practised in these techniques have a definite advantage over other people. Picking the right NLP practitioner course with the right trainers will ensure you get to understand these advanced techniques. You will find some of these ideas on pages on my website.

An Exercise in Building Rapport with NLP

Lets do a basic exercise find a person that you want to create rapport with. Now as you are talking with them start to notice their breathing rate and speech patters. These two will tend to reflect each other. For example does the person speak fast? If so then chances are their breathing rate will be quite fast as well. Start to subtlety match these (without being too blatant or out of character). Also start to notice such things as emotional intensity and start to match that. Over the next few days start doing these things with people and see what it does for you. As you start to become effective you will begin to notice a difference in the way people respond to you and you to them.

By now you probably realise that these techniques would be extremely useful to someone who works in sales, management, politics in fact just about any area of life you can imagine. Consider going in to see your boss to ask for a pay rise! What do you think creating a deep level of rapport beforehand would do for your chances? Or how about going into an interview room and creating such a level of rapport with the person interviewing you that simply cannot not give you the job?

By studying rapport building techniques and practising them daily all of the above and more would be within your grasp. Imagine, for example, if that person you fancied felt as though they were connecting with you on a level that they have never felt before. Do you think that this would increase your chances of persuading that person to go out with you?

Rintu Basu is the only NLP and Hypnotic Persuasion Trainer in the UK. Having worked with businesses, the police service and the finacial sector. His latest venture is developing NLP in Scotland through good quality public NLP training courses. For more about building rapport with NLP check out the website.

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How to Quit Smoking? Guide for Becoming a Non-Smoker

Most smokers are afraid that they cant quit, that cigarettes are more powerful than they are. Actually this is fear from the fear, because if you are still smoking, how can you know that its hard without cigarettes? This is a result from your habit that is controlling you so much that it wont allow you to imagine how life can look like without smoking.

This point brings another question or excuse of yours. I love smoking; I love the ritual, etc. This is partially true, you love the time spent with yourself in that moment. But the cigarette will burn after two minutes, so why light it in the first place? Shell burn but the pleasure will only last for two minutes. It will last for two minutes and only two minutes. No more. This conditioning will continue until you are brave enough to interrupt this pattern.

First thing you have to do is to hate that youre controlled. How can you be a free human being, when someone or something controls you? This should be the first milestone for you. The rest are simply techniques that will help you substitute the smoking habit.

You cant stop smoking without thinking and trying to implement a non-smoker habit.

After you are sure that you understand this, and only after youre sure, follow these instructions:
If you can hold out without smoking for only one minute, dont you think that you can do it in the next minute? Sure you can. You should battle the craving by the minute. It is a much shorter time period to fight your battle and win. This makes the war all that much easier.
Your first trigger occurs at a point where the body is conditioned to enjoy a cigarette along with a drink or after a meal, etc. These triggers will last for a maximum of 5 minutes. During these 5 minutes your entire body will convince you that it is okay to light the cigarette, that you have reason and it will come up with so many excuses that it will be hard for you to say no.
Second, as I mentioned in the secret for becoming a non-smoker, you should not involve yourself in your personal fight with the habit. You cant win your habit in this way, because there will be a period when youre feeling down and that will be a good enough reason for lighting a cigarette.
You should also be aware that youll be very confused in the first 3 days and this is normal and you should accept it. This is the period where your brain is forcing you to light a cigarette and attempts to convince you with what may seem reasonable excuses. Since you programmed your brain to feel pleasure whenever you light a cigarette, it is now telling you that something might be wrong without a cigarette or that something might be missing from your life. Your brain is like a big and mighty ship, but youre the captain, and it will follow your navigation orders, but needs time to take the right course. There is also wind that is blowing your ship in different directions, and there is still a force that is pushing the ship towards the old navigation commands. Dont forget the power that you as a captain posses, you can change the course of your ship in any direction you want.

By my experience youll need only 3 days to start feeling like a non-smoker.
Another very helpful thing is to try to help some of your friends who are smokers. Try telling them about this techniques and theories and check their opinion. You can make some kind of pact, trying to work together to beat this habit. At the bottom of every post there is a link labeled Tell a friend!. Use this link to forward this message and at least remind your friends that they can quit. This can be very stimulating for you and your strength to quit smoking.

I light my first cigarette at the age of 13. Since then Ive been actively smoking for 12 years. Now, Im a non-smoker for over a year. I discover the big secret for quitting forever. Therefore, I decide to help people who are willing to quit for good. http://smokerness.com is a site dedicated to all who are searching for answers. Please, research the subjects carefully, read the posts couple of times if necessary, and I can guarantee you results.

Dont stop trying, and have a nice trip!

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